I am

How I miss the warmth of the one

I see the unpalatable

What she thinks I do not know....

 

A fool I am not

Do not undermine my ability

My sacrifices may seem insignificant to you

 

I am not him

I am not them

For I am

 

If you choose to see not me

You will not see me

You will see not me

Caged!

(Unbridled Thoughts of A Pan-Africanist)

Mentally caged!

Trapped in Pain

Caged in fear

 

Trapped by foreign beliefs and believes

Caged by ignorance

Trapped by denying and rejecting who we are

Caged in poverty

Trapped by useless jealousy

Caged by inexperience

Trapped by intoxicating indulgence

Trapped in foreign languages and culture

 

Please wake me up

For my time is now

I cut ALL my chains of bondage now

 

May I be me

May I reject the artificial me

May I discover my purpose on earth

May I be true to my indigenous knowledge

May I be trapped in wisdom

May I serve my people

 

May I be the earth's seasoning

For I am.

The Signature Look

The wide big eyes….

Like an Afrikan awl? Ha! Ha!

Reminds me of the Afrikan sun, moon and the stars.

Which brings hope to Afrikans.

 

The eyelashes….

Reminds me of the brush from our ox-tale

Tails of our ceremonial cattle

Used to clean our houses

May they shield and protect those handsome eyes.

May they shield you from seeing bad no more.

 

Ohivara*....

Reminds me of the creator's handy work

May it be the gate to your heart

A heart with a space for a true AfriKan Woman.

 

The hair….

Black with traces of grey

Reminds me of the years past

Of the seasoning by Afrikan standards

May wisdom be reflected in you

May you represent Afrika.

 

The soft,  yet engaging voice…

Reminds me of our forebearers.

 

The voice….

Cool, collected and calculated to build

Never given to rage and destruction

 

The physical build-up….

Reminds me of our Afrikan soldier

Who protected our women and land

It reminds me of our Afrikan man

Who has cared for our ancestral cattle

 

The intellect….

Reminds me of the Afrikan man we had before colonial times

Filled with wisdom bred in Afrika.

 

The skin and its tone….

Reminds me of the Afrikan soil

Filled with wealth sought for by the world

Feeding the needs and wants of the world.

 

The signature look…

May it bring hope to Afrika

May it be a true reflection of the Afrika in you

The Afrika we should build.

 

*The space between the front teeth.

 

Poem Inspired by an African Queen (Amanda Kaipiti)

The Eve of Her Leave

May my Great God give me strength

Strength to let her leave without a tear drop

Parting ways for any reason is a journey into discomfort

 

May I celebrate her presence now

 I enjoy the feel of her presence

 

May I enjoy her now before tomorrow comes

For tomorrow will carry her away

 

May tomorrow come with joy

The joy of parting ways

For parting ways will allow for our next meeting.

The Snoring Strange Mate

I woke up to a sound

I woke up to sounds

How I wish it was sweet

Sweet like the melodies

from an Afrikan bird of the Afrikan Savanna or Jungle!

How I wish it was the sweet voice of my beloved

 

Awakened by the sound of a tractor ploughing our Afrikan fields

No! It is the sound of my strange hotel room mate!

 

I turn and twist in vain

I cover my head with my pillow

The sound is still in my ear
It reminds me of the roaring lions of Afrika

 

I pray for the morning to come

The morning to release me from bondage

 

The irritation is unbearable

Should I shake him up?

Should I sing to my ancestors?

I slide the side lamp do produce a sound
I hit my wooden bed with my shoe
I sound awakens him

It sounds like the sound from the ancestral
bongo drums of the Congo!

Behold!
The snoring stops....!
Only temporarily
My torment continues....!

 

 

Better than THEM for Her

Meditations of a Son of Ovandu

(Unbridled thoughts)

 

For me to be good, I must be better than most men she has met and or associates with. I must earn more than her and should have schooled more than her. I must have an imposing personality that makes me irresistible to handle. I must have solutions to almost all the problems and act like I am on top of my game. I have seen that sharing most of my fears and challenges makes me unattractive and uninspiring. Keeping them to myself bring trouble from her again! have wished to share my problems, but this makes me more worthless in her eyes. For she sees me as luggage that is baggage for her. She feels I will hinder her progress. I have sacrificed my thoughts and time....I have resolved not to hurt her, in speech and deeds. Fate has it that my choice of action leads to unpleasant results. Which in turn makes it tough for her. Her circle of influence and her temperament allows her to be more aggressive and reckless in her use of speech. My duty is to balance these....my duty is to endure in a cool manner...never to be a man given to anger. For the love and wisdom of our fore-bearers, one has to be careful not to attract unnecessary friction. In our balancing act, I must safeguard my ego. For my ego is the ME that must be nourished and not allowed to perish. Who is a man with a beaten ego...? Who can be a man with a soiled ego...?

 

Your anger comes because I am too slow for you...Which yardstick are you using? I do not do what you expect me to do. We have not shared my fears, but in your eyes I am hopeless and useless. I will not confront you right now. For my spirit is agitated. I have been taught by my beloved father to mind the way I feel and the words  use. I know that words spoken in anger are weapons of mass destruction.

 

May the wisdom of my fore-bearers be upon me like a strong umbrella. May it be upon me like the green pasture that fed our ceremonial and ancestral cattle. May the wisdom of those who came before me be like the rays of a rising sun which brings hope upon all the inhabitants of our earth. May wisdom make me graze on humbleness...may wisdom be like the holy fire of my people...may it connect me to my creator. For our sake. 

Defuse the Deception

(Unbridled thoughts of A Pan-Africanist)

The REVOLUTION starts by defusing the deception based on the psychological front. the control is based on the agenda of creating in our minds the belief that theirs is THE way and it is the panacea for all or challenges and problems. Our strength lies in the realization by US that the slave mentality created by this agenda will only maintain and enhance our slave condition. They will come in the image of brother (your brother). Speak in the language of my brother, your brother. Act like the brother I should have and know. This is a trap the trap....in the name of my brother....and for my sake. I do not believe in a brotherhood of exploitation. I believe in a partnership of mutual understanding and benefit.